Sunday, May 27, 2007
so jokes to share.. (by mun san)
A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock. They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked (thinking he is pretty weird). The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door.
Upset, she asked where he'd been.
The man replied, "I cannot tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep.That's why I'm late."
The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU DAMN LIAR! You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"
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A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many
will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many
will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I
like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I
have a question for YOU.
There are three women sitting
on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking
the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I
suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked
the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring
on...but I like your thinking.''
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A NUS graduate finding difficulty in getting a job here
finally accepted the offer to work with Mandai Zoo.
"What to do? It's better to work like this than earn nothing...,"
he mumbled to himself.
So the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He had to wear
monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He also had to
climb trees and jump from one to another to attract visitors.
The zoo has since enjoyed tremendous business and an increase in
visitor arrrivals. Even world leaders wanted to see the super 'smart'
monkey of the world.
Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees he slipped
and fell into a crocodile pool!
"Oh my God....I'm dying... now," he thought, as a hungry-looking
crocodile swam steadily towards his direction.
In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice,
"Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from NTU."